Ah Ma, Ah Gong

Today is the memorial day of my beloved Grandma. Time really flies, it's been 13 years since my Grandma leave the world.

That year I just finished primary 5.  My Grandma was sick for months, lying in bed. I still have vivid memory of my Grandma. She is the best Grandma you could ever wish for. I still remember clearly the encouragement words by her when I showed her my result (no. 4 in the class). She was really happy, I could see tear of joy in her eyes. Her encouragement, her praise, her advice, are really precious.

I am quite amazed what time can do to a human. It can flush away memories, it can completely change a person. I felt guilty, I tend to forget things which my Grandma once taught me.

She never leave me, ever. She is always there to protect me. Same goes to my Grandpa! I am sure they are always there for me.

Last few weeks were the lowest point of my life. I thought I would be able to face it , but apparently I am too weak. Without the support from my family and my friends, I doubt I could make it. But, thanks God and my Grandma and Grandpa, I finally passed this hurdle in my life.

I am glad and I learnt a lot from it. Sometimes we human beings like to take thing for granted, thought that life is always easy to live, but now I have gone through those hardship, and I shall become stronger.

Thanks everyone, I am so glad I have you! I shall grow up, I shall work harder, I shall remember all the precious advice. I shall appreciate every single one of you!!! :))))


p/s: Ah Ma, Ah Gong, I hope to see you again one day!! :)) Thanks for your love!!!

Everything happens for a Reason

I believe everything happens for a reason.

Dear God, thanks for making me to realize this.

I will improve from these, I will become stronger, tougher!

I will give you my best!! This is my dream, this is what I want to be!

Now I just wish you to protect me, guide me...

To survive this biggest hurdle, and I am going to work even harder!

I am going to be more responsible, I am going to change...

Now, I have done what I have to do, I am just putting all my faith in You.

Please let me pass through these.

I am appreciating deep from my heart.

Pls...

A Note To God

Dear God,

If I can survive this, I will not play a fool anymore.

No more play, just constant studying, learning and improving.

The weak shall perish, only the strong ones will remain.

I shall stand up, move forward and step across every obstacles.


There is no other option, SURVIVAL is A MUST!


Yours Sincerely,
Ickes

:(

I need to stay strong, I must...

But deep inside my heart, I am suffering!

I really wished all this was just a dream, that when I wake up the next morning, I am back in Malaysia

To be honest, I can't really accept this, this is too much for me! :(

Good Bye

I got hit hard, really hard this time, probably it will change me for life.

This is a lesson, perhaps a valuable one, or maybe this is a call, to tell me where my true potential is in.

Alright today will be the history, today will be the day which will change how I would be like in the future.

RIP, old Ickes...

Complicated

Humans are complicated creatures, it is indescribable complex that sometimes you wish there is something to be done to destroy all the human-beings.

Emotions & feelings, sometimes they easily take over Logic & Moral.  Mind, Heart and Action are not always synchronized.

Family, supposed to be the best thing in the world, but sometimes you just can't feel its existence, well maybe   at least for 10% of the population.

Friends, used to be an innocent relationship, has slowly evolved as we ages, now even whom you thought who was/is your best friend will badmouth about you. Never trust others always.

Love, is a complicated thing, it is easy to find if you just want it to be a short one. In a nutshell, it is difficult to maintain and to find a right one who will always be there for you. You need the perfect "Time" at a perfect "Place" with  the perfect "Person".

People, the community, is generally a busy body society. They made fun of others to satisfy their own happiness, make lots of complaints and maybe just like to see things  which make them happy but doesn't realize it will make the subject sad.

Please the World, Can you stop being so complicated?

Grant me the Energyy

Just let me pass the exam without a second attempt alright?

I promised I will work hard during this holiday!!!

I have already planned ahead my holiday, please don't ruin it k??

* Eternal force of Calm* & *Lady of Luck* & * God of Logic *

Please assist me in this upcoming mission, thank you! Much appreciated!

Tiring soul

:(

Guilt is the worst feeling in the world when it is made worse by others.

What Excites Me to catch Disney•Pixar’s “Monsters University”!

Courtesy of Nuffnang Singapore, they are giving away 80 pair of movie passes for the "MONSTERS UNIVERSITY" movie which would be released on 20 June 2013.

What a great honor! I am extremely excited as I would be in Singapore this middle of June for a holiday to visit my girlfriend. Let me tell you, she is a big fan of cartoon characters and I am sure she would LOVE the Monsters University as there are so many "cute" or maybe "weird" monsters in it!

Actually, what EXCITES ME THE MOST is to think of the MOMENT TO BE with her is really coming SOON. We have no chance to be together everyday as I am currently studying in Australia while she is working and studying in Singapore. With this movie screening, If I win, it would be really sweet to think of how she would enjoy and have a good laugh while watching this movie, and for me, HER SMILE IS WORTH ANYTHING & EVERYTHING :)


The Trailer of "MONSTERS UNIVERSITY"could be accessed here:

http://youtu.be/r0PWAh-uCcE

GPSN Meeting

GP my pathway? Hmm...most likely. Attended a GPSN meeting today. Heard some of the doctors sharing their experience as medical student, intern, and pathway to become GP. It was pretty interesting when they got to do training at some developing countries and I was so amazed by some of their experience. 1 year internship, then 3 years of GP training you can get fellowship of the royal Australian college of general practitioners and do 1 more extra year you can get another fellowship in advanced rural general practice. GP my choice? Hmm...

Dark world within myself

Have you ever experienced this feeling before?

Waking up after an afternoon nap and feeling so intensely that the world is so lonely, or rather yourself is so alone and lonely that there is no one there for you and only YOU yourselves? I just experienced this just now and this is not my first time to experience it.

Waking up from a dream, didn't even remember what the dream was. Surrounding was so dark. Switched on the light. Push open the door and look outside, the corridor was dark. It was so silent, nobody there. Push open the back door to go and collect my "still not dry"clothes, the wind blow, you felt so chilly. The sky was turning dark, and you felt so ALONE, LONELY.

This feeling was really bad and it made you feel so depressed and made you feel that there is no purpose in your life.

What is my purpose of life?? Who's there for me? Who am I close with? I start questioning myself....
I knew my family care for me, but somehow I wish I am closer to them, able to talk myself out to them.
I knew some my friends are really good, but somehow I don't find a real soul-mate.
Is my life going to pass just like this?
I think this reflects the world within me...
I am LONELY...:-(

I am emo-ing

Emo-ing again, lately a lot episodes of emo-ing feelings came to haunt me!!! And despite having two housemates here, what they did were making me more emo. They shared and talked with each other but not me, didn't cheer me up, didn't listen to me, didn't share their problems with me. I am getting more depressed having to stay with these housemates, especially the sensitive and quiet one! :-(

E-M-O-I-N-G!! Someone can help me pls?

I am an INCOMMUNICABLE person

I must admit that I am not a very communicable person....

First of all, I have not much hobbies to talk about
eg: Cars, IT, football, basketball, tennis.......nah none of these :-(

Second of all, I have no clue about news & politics
because I don't read them :-(

Third  of all, I have not much common sense or general knowledge
:-(

Fourth of all, I am not a verbal, talkative person

Last of all, I don't share much of my feelings


So, I am just ........A BORING PERSON :-(

O week is over today

Gosh time flies, it's been one week now since starting of classes. Havn't really gotten to know my new batchmates well. But hopefully will be able to in the future. Next week will start my first rotation in surgery, I feel totally unprepared for it, sigh.

Road lies ahead is unclear, mysterious and undecided, we can only prepare ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally to accept and endure what are coming towards us. Take them as learning experience and become better. Never afraid of failure and giving up is never an option. Perseverance and diligence with minor mount of luck re our friends. Keep learning!!!!!

3rd year is starting soon

It's been really long since I last updated my blog. Currently I am in the capital of Australia- Canberra, to continue my final 2 years of mbbs. Next week will be the O week orientation and the official 3rd year will be starting right after that. Hopefully get to know more new friends. :)