Sigh...can't fulfill my Dream?

My feeling is so complicated now so I have decided to blog again...

So between studies and games, which one will you choose??

For every Medical students, I am sure most of the people will choose Studies, but as for me, I find it is hard for me to let go games, I am not sure why, maybe I am the type who always like to play games (eg: Treasure Hunt, Amazing Race that kind). I always have passion and enthusiasm in joining those games and to win all of them!!

Recently, I am planning to join Amazing Race Asia 2010, but it really gave me a lot of headache, causing me can't focus in my study. There are a lot of factors to be considered to join this race, not only for fun! First of all, before you want to apply, you must have a valid date of passport until 7 Nov 2011. Mine 1 till end of this year, that means I need to go renew my passport! And to apply the Race, I need to have a international driving license. I need to go JPJ to convert my Malaysian driving license to international 1. Both of these also cause me money and time!

Ok, if everything settled, then more problems to come! The audition on 13 March in Sunway. I have signed up for a communication skills workshop on that day and I need to collect T-shirt for the run which on the following day on that day itself too. That's mean I only can choose whether I want to go Audition or workshop? Ok, fine, I will choose workshop and T-shirt collection, I can use another way to apply for Amazing race,which is using mail-posting to Singapore!

Talk about mail posting, I can't really make sure that my mail will reach safely to their hands. What if the mail don't reach and all my efforts in making video, all the documents, renewed passport fee, international driving license fee all gone/wasted...

Ok, if i got selected for audition, they will call us for interview at other country for 2 weeks, that means I have to skip 2 weeks lectures and maybe PBL too!!! How can I do that? And I have to pay the money to travel to overseas for interview.

And if good news again, I got selected for final, which is around May to July, it may clash with MY EOS5, should I skip the test? Lol, impossible right? And if I skip the Rcae, then I can't join it next time anymore. And it will also clash with my clinical attachment in SGH which is fater EOS 5, and maybe KK mount which is on early July!!! And I am not guaranteed to win the Race too!!

So how, what should I do?? Every situation seems to ask me to give up for this audition!! And maybe I should. Next year perhaps huh?? If got chance again!

But I seriously am very passionate about this Race, it will be the happiest memory of my entire life if I got selected for the Race...sigh, maybe I just have no fate with it.....

Jia You

Messages to ICKES:

\\Can you please stay focus??

Can you do it?? Can you please study as hard as you can??

Can you don't think of anything else?? Can you just do whatever you want to do?/

Can you please appreciate? Can you pls be happy??

Can you eat more? Can you don't do something which is not productive?

Can you show your strengths?

You can do it!!

Say it to yourself!


Regards,

....Your Best Friend............

D' Jungle People---Ripples Leadership Camp Group 1 Video

Can I don't do anything?

Sigh...it's emo time again. SPSS (Statistic programme) is killing me slowly. I am so helpless and tired(mentally, not physically) now. I know everyone is tired too, but we still have to do it. At first I thought learning SPSS supposed to be fun and typing data in should be exciting, but after all the process of deciding variables, keep on changing the data,graphs and bar chart problems, it had taken our time and energy so so much, I am really tired and wanna get rid of it real soon wei...I think everyone will has mental breakdown soon...

And despite the fact that I have so many things to busy with. All the upcoming events, all the undecided events. I want to do it good, I want to plan it well, but seems that no one is willing to help me out. Everything has not been set yet and the deadline is approaching. How can we prove to everyone that we are good enough to leave??? Sigh, and the fact that I can't join Amazing Race....the fact that my proposal has been rejected and needed to be revised , the fact that I must change everything and do it one more time all over again, I am really tired of everything and wish that I am just lye there and do nothing.

IMU Ball is another issue, well bla bla bla...

A beautiful letter I have received, have been prepared with all the possible outcomes have made me not to feel so upset, but I am quite sad too....nvm, I think time can prove everything and everything will be fine. I just need some time for the busy moment to end.

And one thing follows another thing, busy has just changed everything. That's what I can say, friend will just go to spend time with others who are free, or whoever is fun and funny maybe. I am just...., what can I do right? We don't share the same interest too.

I called my parents, my friends....
I am glad to talk to them...
Just wish that my life will be getting better after this...Sigh, I haven't even revised yet. I am just very lack of motivation!! A very bad habit, don't learn from me..

Thanks for praising my shirt, haha!